Could You Read It, Om?

In this morning, I think about you suddenly. Hey my beloved uncle, are you doing great right there? It has been 5 years.

I bet you are fine out there because you are a good person. Good person gets good things. Hnggg if you know I say you are a good person, you will show your smug face. Oh can't let it happen! Kekekek..

I remember the times we passed together, when you were on college and I still on elementary school. Do you know how bad I miss you? How I miss yer joke, the way you laugh at me, the way you bully me, the way we fought for sambel trasi. Haha those times were so nice when you messed me, when we still gather in one dimension.

You know, you are missing a lot of things! Many things happen these days and you must be surprised because you've already become a grandpa!!! Mas Tito had a son, named Dito. He's so smart, just like you.

The most important thing that you should know

→ my nose is lil bit higher ←

So you can't say 'hidung keinjak gajah' anymore hahahaha :))

.......

Hmmm it's miserable when I realize that you've gone. Y you leave me this fast? I remember when Tante Pipit embraced me tight and said 'maafin salahnya om mamo ya dek, om emang suka usil sama dek ani tapi dek ani itu ponakan kesayangannya om mamo'. I couldn't do anything but cried heavily :''''(

It's easy for someone says 'udah anggep aja om mamo masih di Jakarta', but I can't! The fact is I can't meet you when I go to Jakarta. I can't see yer nice smiling eyes. I can't see yer distended tummy. I can't.

I bloody miss you. Promise me you'll be always good out there.

Indrasmo Murdi Prasetyo, you always be in our hearts :''')

`L♥ve

Wednesday,November 2, 2011

Rekaerbtraeh

The way I think has been pretty changed,

but still far from ideal: mature.

It's irritating.

It's torturing.

It's painful.

You know?

I wanna stop.

Right now.

Just 'wanna'?

No!

It's a must!

I have to stop, right here, right now!!

Goodbye heartbreaker!!!!!!

`L♥ve

Thursday,October 20, 2011

It hurts

My friends always say 'You have one older brother and one older sister. How lucky you are'

Yes, I`m so lucky. I have two siblings and they are sooo aw aw aw awesome :3 ♥

My brother is smart, an activist, a good leader, etc.

My sister is beautiful, smart, calm, etc.

But it hurts when some of you start comparing me esp w/ my sister.

Oke, I know it.

I know that I'm not as beatiful as her.

I'm not as smart as her.

I'm not as calm as her.

I dont even do a great handwriting like she does.

Fyi, she got first rank on her class and top10 on pararel rank on her school, even top3. Oya, and her IPs are about 3,7...; 3,8...; and 3,9... Almost 4!!!

Not only that, she got 550 for toefl score.

You can imagine how smart she is. But dont ever imagine that she is a bookworm. She actives at TPHP's organization as a secretary and she likes to go play, waste her time with her friends also her boy friend.

I never blame her because she doesnt like a situation when someone compare us.

She always stop the conversation and looks for another topic.

She always says 'We both are just same'.

I think she knows how bad my feeling when someone compares us.

Yaaaa, thats why I love her so much ♥♥

She never makes me feel a difference within us.

I love her more since we are in the same faculty.

We are more compact and have same point of view.

So please, just stop comparing.

I know, we are different. I'm the minus minus minus and she is the plus plus plus, billion of plus.

But please, it hurts. So much.

P.S: I love you my Rahajeng Arumdinari xxo

`L♥ve

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Something wrong, Sorry :(

I`m not feeling well.
So sorry for you who disturbed.
I really don't mean to.
This is so not me.

Sorry

`L♥ve
Monday, July 26, 2010

Tertikam atau Ditikam?

Hari ini aku badmood bahnjet. Lagi-lagi cengengku keluar. Tapi kalo yang ini bener-bener bikin sakit hati. Kalo ada orang yang kamu anggep temen baik ternyata ngomongin hal ga bener dibelakangmu tu rasanya kayak apa coba? Rasanya tu kayak diiris-iris terus dikasih peresan jeruk plus garem. Perihnya yaampun beneran ga ada yang ngalah-ngalahin. Udah dua kali ya aku diginiin sama orang yang sama. Ya emang sebenernya ga begitu deket sama ni orang. Tapi (dulu pernah) lumayan deket. Dulu kadang nyempetin curhat-curhat bareng. Tapi sekarang dia banyak berubah. Cuma gara-gara hal ga penting yang dia lakuin aku jadi sebah sama orang ini. Sayang banget sebenernya :( Ga nyangka aku dia sampe segitunya. Yah mungkin dia peduli sama aku. Saking pedulinya sampe ngomong-ngomong ke orang sampe dilebih-lebihin gitu. Thanks bby buat perhatian berlebihnya :`)
Dah lah ga usah dipikir. Kepalaku kumat lagi penyakitnya nih. Hoah! Malah jadi lebay gini ah aku bzbzbz -.,-
Yasudahlah biarin aja. Anjing menggonggong, khafilah tetap berlalu :)

Biology Time

My chairmate is happy now. But I don`t feel the same. I laugh as if I were happy. Pretending that I`m in good condition is the best way. But it just a fake. I think it doesn`t matter because none cares me :)

Tearful Midnight

I wanna write something but I don`t know how to write it well. Now I`m not in the right mood. Suddenly my tears roll down my face. I don`t know exactly why do I feel lyk this. I think it will be better if I lay my head back down and lift my hands then pray...

Sorrow in My Life

I just had a bad feeling. I can`t find a comfort in my home. It brings me down. Can you imagine if you in that condition and you need your friend`s support but your friend just dont care about it?
Well, this is my problem. It hurts me painfully. I thought my friend was angry with me. But I`ve tried to apologize. My friend has told me 'kadang diam itu mematikan, maka bergeraklah'.
I`ve tried it, I`ve made a move. But there is no effect. I wanna make it better but I think it becomes worse.
I just wanna say that I`m so sorry. You will forgive me or not, it's up to you. But I hope you can forgive me. It`s torturing me so bad, you know? I need your support and your wise advice but you`re so careless now.
You`ve told me that there wasn`t exFriend. So, I hope you still regard me as your friend and you are still the best friend I ever had. I hope everything will be fine soon.

Bad thing in Great Day

Alhamdulillah, akhirnya dipertemukan dengan Hari Kemenangan yang kita nantikan :D
Antara seneng dan sedih. Seneng krna bisa meraih kemenangan dan sedih krna ramadhan udah selesai.
Tapi sekarang ini aku cenderung sedih (baca:badmood). Padahal dari kemaren moodku bagus bgt. Hari ini aku harus menghadapi kenyataan bahwa salah satu sahabatku nggak bales sms ucapan Idul Fitri-ku. Astaghfirullah pengen marah tp masa marah sama temen sndri, pas lebaran pula. Aku paling gasuka (takut) orang sebel sama aku, jadi sebisa mungkin aku gagampang sebel sama orang. Tapi setega itu kah dia? Padahal udah kenal hampir 3taun. OhMyGod! Aku pengen bgt semuanya jadi baik" lg :( amiin.

wth!

Sekarang ini aku adalah makhluk paling mengerikan sedunia. Udah kayak zombie. Rajanya zombie mungkin. Mayat hidup yang cuma bisa jalan duduk tidur. Nggak minat ngapa-ngapain.
Atau sekarang ini udah kayak orang linglung nggak punya otak. Bukan! Aku nggak punya otak udah sejak dulu sampe logikaku nggak jalan. Cuma pake perasaan dan sekarang itu yang bikin aku makin jauh terpuruk.
Ternyata emang bener perempuan itu logikanya nggak jalan sama sekali, cuma ngandalin perasaan. fvckindamn!
Tapi selama ini aku nggak pernah ngerasain yang namanya menyesal. Aneh.
Emang semua ini membuatku menjadi orang yang sangat amat teramat aneh. Gila!

idk!

Sekarang ini aku nggak tau harus apa dan bagaimana.
'I don`t know' adalah kata-kata yang sangat tepat. Aku nggak tau hidupku kedepan kayak apa.
Indah-menyenangkan-manis ataukah buruk-menyengsarakan-pahit.
Sebagai manusia normal pastinya aku pengen hidup yang indah-menyenangkan-manis.
Tapi hidup itu labil, nggak stabil. Nggak akan berhenti pada satu titik, selalu berputar. Suatu saat merasakan kebahagiaan tapi sedetik kemudian bisa aja kesengsaraan menghampiri.
Sayangnya aku orang yang gampang terpuruk. Sekalinya dapet sengsara susah sembuhnya :`)
Tapi aku bisa bertahan kalau ada orang-orang itu disampingku. Aku bersyukur banget dianugerahi orang-orang yang sangat luar biasa seperti mereka.
Ada seorang yang sangatlah penting dan aku harap dia baca tulisan ini. Satu-satunya orang yang pengen banget aku temui :)

Aduh malah curhat :p
Yaa inilah satu-satunya jalan disaat aku nggak ada tempat untuk cerita. Pelarianku adalah menulis walau hasilnya kacau dan berantakan hahahaha nggak penting bgt :B

Yah semoga ketidakpastian masa depan bisa bikin aku semangat untuk mencari setitik kapastian. Cukup setitik.